The Top 5 Fears in Divorce

By Daniel H. Moss, Attorney

Contemplating divorce can cause a lot of uncertainty and fear. While you can’t prepare for everything, the list below should help with some of the biggest questions and fears you might be experiencing if you are thinking about divorce.

This list is not intended as legal advice. If you are planning to file for divorce, seek out the advice of an attorney so you know and understand the legal considerations involved in your specific case.

Below are the Top 5 Fears in Divorce

1. Being Alone
When you got married, you planned to spend the rest of your life with your spouse. Many people try to stick it out so that they don’t have to live on their own or face the prospect of never finding someone else with whom to share the rest of their lives.

Advice: If you are contemplating divorce, you may already be living alone emotionally. Prepare ahead for how you will live day to day as well as for when or if you might be ready to date again. Spend more time with your friends and family, reinvest in your hobbies, activities or even education. Plan ahead for the life you want to live instead of focusing on the fear of being alone.

2. Failure
Divorce can make you feel as though you have failed: failed to uphold the promises of your marriage vows, failed to repair your broken relationship, failed to overcome the obstacles every marriage faces.

Advice: Realize that marriages end for a variety of reasons. Don’t dwell on the label of “failure,” but look towards succeeding at your future after divorce.

3. Loss of Financial Support
If your spouse is financially supporting you, the loss of that support can be devastating.

Advice: Plan ahead and save what you can before filing. Create a file of important documents and make sure you have access to all of your family accounts. Take stock of your shared assets before contacting an attorney. Discuss these details with your attorney and create a plan with his or her advice.

4. Losing Custody of the Children
This is a big fear in many divorces and the main reason why so many couples stay in an unhappy or unfulfilling marriage.

Advice: Each situation is unique, but if possible, seek out couples and/or family therapy. Try to come to an understanding with your spouse on custody and create a positive transition for the children.

5. Not Filing
Whatever fears you have about filing for divorce, think about what your life will be like if you don’t file. Not taking action can also cause a lot of fear and anxiety. It boils down to whether or not you are willing to live the rest of your life the way you are now – or in some cases, worse than you are now.

Advice: While no one can tell you what you should do, if you can’t imagine continuing to live in your current marriage and attempts to reconcile have not been successful, it might be time to make a move. Divorce is not an easy decision to make, but for many people, once the pain of the divorce is over, they are able to move on to a more positive future.

For more information on how to prepare yourself for filing for divorce, please download my free report 8 Steps to Take BEFORE Filing for Divorce.

If you have questions or are looking for advice about your specific situation, please contact me directly at 248.855.5656 or








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