6 Questions to Determine if You Need Counseling or Divorce

All relationships take work. This is especially true for marriage. In the beginning, things can seem effortless, but as the ups and downs of life occur, as children are born and responsibilities change, relationships can become strained and difficult to manage.

If you’re at the point where you are unhappy in your marriage and your relationship is suffering, it’s time to determine if you are just going through a rough patch and need to seek marriage counseling or if divorce is the right answer.

Below are six questions to help you begin to determine if you need counseling or divorce:

Are you and your spouse both willing and ready to work on your relationship?

Counseling can only work if both parties want to work on the relationship and are willing to be open and cooperative with the marriage counseling process. If you or your spouse already made the decision to divorce, it is probably too late to seek counseling to try to mend the relationship.

Is the love still alive?

Are you going through a rough patch? Or have either or both of you fallen out of love? In order for you to have a successful marriage, there needs to be an opportunity to rekindle or redefine what that love is moving forward.

Have you waited too long?

Has too much time passed, allowing resentment and hurt feelings to build and solidify? Often, waiting too long to seek counseling can be detrimental to trying to resolve martial issues.

Has there been infidelity?

Trust is essential to a healthy relationship. If there has been infidelity, it can be incredibly difficult to rebuild trust. Often, infidelity is the final straw in deciding between marriage counseling and divorce.

Is your marriage missing intimacy?

If this is the case, you and your spouse both need to be on the same page in wanting to rebuild intimacy. If either of you is indifferent or uninterested, it may be too late for counseling to help.

Is there abuse?

Emotional or physical abuse is not acceptable. If abuse is occurring in your marriage, it’s time to seek help from loved ones or other resources to get out.

These questions can give you a start to determining if marriage counseling is right for you or if you’re ready to take the next step towards divorce. Overall, be realistic. If one or both of you is unwilling to be open to working on your relationship, if one of you has already decided it’s time to move on, or if you are not in a safe environment, marriage counseling may not be the answer.

If you have questions or are looking for advice about your specific situation, please contact me directly at 248.855.5656 or [email protected].