Divorce and the Holidays
By Daniel H Moss, Attorney
Getting through the holidays in a divorce situation can be a very troubling period. Some of the suggestions below may help you through this difficult time in a positive way.
1. Make sure that whatever you do is in the best interests of your children.
Most court judgments provide for how the holiday parenting time will be divided between the parents. Encourage the children to enjoy the time with you and with their other parent. Never say bad things about the other parent. This is new to the children. They are learning how to deal with this, and you are too.
2. Plan ahead for new holiday traditions and festive activities.
Have the kids create new holiday activities and plans with you. Plan activities that are stress free and enjoyable with people you care about and who care about you. Include your family and friends to join you and the kids for new fun activities. This should help you focus on positive fun times, and lessen the pain associated with separation and divorce. If you can’t cope with a depressing environment, take a trip that allows all of you to escape the troubling memories.
3. Make a list of what you want to accomplish.
List everything you need to do for the holiday season and dates you want to accomplish those tasks. This will help reduce the stress, leave you more in control and better able to achieve the joyful time you want for the holiday.
4. Don’t try to achieve everything all at once.
Take it one day at a time. It will take time for you to adjust and cope with all the changes going on in your life. It’s okay to get help from family, friends and other support groups as needed. Even though you can’t see it right away, sometimes life changes are good for you and your children.
5. Relax your expectations.
Forget about the “perfect holiday.” You will feel much happier,
as will your children, if you drop your expectations and just do what makes you and them happy at the time without a preconceived notion. Focus on one moment at a time and enjoy!
If you have questions or are looking for advice about your specific situation, please contact me directly at 248.855.5656 or [email protected].