Some Do’s and Don’ts with Your Kids After Divorce
By Daniel H. Moss, Attorney
- Don’t say bad things about the other parent. Getting along with your ex is essential to the stability of your children. Remember: your kids are half you and half your ex. Love your children more than you dislike your ex. Learn sooner rather than later that it is futile it is to speak badly of your ex. The kids will determine the pluses and minuses of each parent on their own.
- Try your hardest to co-parent. Cooperate with your ex so that you can support and raise your children as a team instead of as enemies. After the divorce, it’s no longer about you and the animosity you’ve had with your ex, it’s only about what is in the best interests of your children. Even if your ex won’t co-parent, let your kids know that you each have your own parenting style, and it’s OK. This way, they can better understand and adjust to the differences in your parenting techniques.
- Be consistent, dependable, and reliable. Help your children laugh, but be an adult. Be honest with your kids and explain things in a way they can understand. Realize they are not adults and will not react the same way to the cause or changes of divorce as you will. Be sympathetic to their feelings and understand that they process the world differently than you do. Offer them support and love and remind them that the divorce is not their fault and, although change can be difficult, the divorce is what’s best for your family in the long run.
- Put their needs first. Throughout the changes of divorce, be sure you are thinking about how your decisions will impact your kids’ lives. Make sure that everything you do takes their best interests into consideration.
ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THOUGHTS IS THIS:
“Spending time with children
is more important than
spending money on children.”
If you have questions or are looking for advice about your specific situation, please contact me directly at 248.855.5656 or [email protected].