What are the 4 predictors of divorce?

There are four negative communication patterns that can significantly predict divorce: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. These patterns, if left unchecked, can erode a relationship and make it difficult to resolve conflicts effectively. 

Here’s a breakdown of each:

1. Criticism:
This involves attacking your partner’s character or personality rather than focusing on a specific behavior. For example, instead of saying, “I was upset when you didn’t call to say you’d be late,” a critic might say, “You never think about how your actions affect other people.” 

2. Contempt:
This is the most damaging of the four, as it involves treating your partner with disrespect, mockery, or even disgust. It can manifest as name-calling, sarcasm, eye-rolling, or other forms of belittling. 

3. Defensiveness:
This involves responding to criticism or complaints with excuses, blaming, or playing the victim. Rather than taking responsibility for your actions, defensiveness escalates conflict. 

4. Stonewalling:
This is when one partner withdraws from the conversation, shutting down and refusing to engage. It can involve physically or emotionally disconnecting from the other person, leaving them feeling unheard and ignored. 

Recognizing these patterns and actively working to replace them with healthier communication styles can significantly improve the quality of a relationship and reduce the risk of divorce, according to relationship therapists. 

If you need advice on your specific situation or are considering filing for divorce in Michigan and need guidance on your next steps, please don’t hesitate to contact me to discuss your unique circumstances: 248.855.5656 or dmoss@dmosslaw.com.